 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
A Warning for Women Dating
Confirmed Bachelors!
If you're dating a guy over forty and you are marriage minded, read this before picking out your china pattern: if he's over forty and never been married, chances are he'll stay that way. So says never-married Ph.D. Charles Waehler who has spent the better part of his career studying his own kind.
It's expected that men will marry, because most people do get married, says Waehler, Associate Professor at the University of Akron and author of "Bachelors: the Psychology of Men who Haven't Married" (Praeger) But some men choose not to marry -- about 3 million men in this country alone in fact - and Waehler rushes to their defense, claiming that they are not woman-haters, ladies men or mama's boys. Bachelors like women and don't consider themselves 'anti-marriage' - they are just happy the way they are.
Here's what his research on bachelors has revealed:
- A 35-year-old never-wed man stands a 50-50 chance of marrying
- After 40, the likelihood that a never-married man will reach the alter
drops to 1 in 5
- Bachelors tend to be only children or only sons and/or men whose parents married later in life
Waehler has identified three types of bachelors. Do you know one of them?
- Flexible bachelors are outgoing and sociable. They have romantic relationships
and pursue fulfilling careers. For them, marriage is simply not the most
important thing going
- Entrenched bachelors are socially isolated and distant; they keep people
at arm's length
- Conflicted bachelors (and these are the majority) have - well - conflicting feelings about marriage. Waehler dubs them, "the most likely to drive women crazy." They long for the comforts of marriage while dreading the loss of independence.
If you are dating a never-married man over forty, Dr. Tara advises that you keep your options open, practice caution and avoid the 'I'll change him' phenomenon. It is always possible that he will change on his own, but it is important to go into the relationship armed with this research.