 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
Affair Survival
I love your show. The comment I wanted to make is in regards to a marriage becoming stronger after an affair. My husband had an affair with a co-worker. We had been married for 15 years at the time and two wonderful children. Through the years my husband and I had become more like brother and sister. Even though I realized that we didn't get the time together like we used to have, I never thought that he would look elsewhere.
One morning I could tell something just wasn't right with my husgband. I asked him what was wrong. He told me he was involved with another woman. I was devastated. I didn't know what to say or do. I asked him how he could do that, we have two children! I told him I loved him and the kids more than anything and we needed to fix this. He told me it was too late.
My husband left and went to work. I took the kids to daycare and began my fight to get him back. The first thing I did was to call a male co-worker of his who was a mutual friend. He agreed to meet me. This friend said that he noticed my husband had been really different lately. Luckily, the affair had only been going on for a couple of weeks. After discussing the situation with our mutual friend I called our family physician and he suggested a complete physical.
As it turns out, my husband was clinically depressed. He had recently watched his best friend die suddenly from cancer and was in much more pain than I had ever suspected. This was a guy who he had grown up with and had gone fishing with often and used to come over to our house for dinner and Monday night football. Our doctor was wonderful and suggested to my husband not to make any rash decisions.
My husband began counseling. The counselor who our doctor recommended turned out to be a poor match for my husband. Luckily my husband agreed to change therapists and suggested that I go too. I got an appointment with a highly respected marriage counselor who was able to work things out. The six months of therapy that we went through with him was a real turning point in our marriage. Almost four years later I can honestly say we are happier than we've ever been. We make time for ourselves and communicate and listen to each other.
Just because you're married and have kids doesn't mean that your relationship has to suffer. We're about to celebrate our 19th anniversary and couldn't be happier. I've learned to never say never. I used to think counseling was only for the weak. I've since learned what a wonderful thing it can be.
Well, gotta go, I have a date with my husband tonight.